Alex Wiltshire

I am a caring and warm person, working from a deeply humanistic position, with a pace that enables a willingness to connect with the wisdom and the beauty of the moment.

I hope to inspire and empower my clients to be fully seen and understood. With compassion and presence people thrive. Our most natural state of being is authentic, connected and responsive.

I come from a medical background, initially as an intensive care nurse working with open heart surgery patients before I moved to cancer nursing - prompted by my husband being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I wanted to understand my internal emotional landscape to understand my patients better. The move to study Humanistic counselling with transactional analysis was a natural progression and complimented my role.

I now work full-time in private practice, with adults and young people, using the Compassionate Inquiry approach to inform my way of being as a therapist. It is at the heart of my work. Shame has been very much part of my life and of my work which led me to Compassionate Inquiry. I am deeply committed to creating a more compassionate world. Compassionate Inquiry has helped me thrive and grow and inspires every moment of my life. I also work as a supervisor.

Being fully present is something I am always working to do. When we are present with others, we are receptive to what is going on with the other person and viscerally within ourselves. Presence is a fluid, energetic state created and developed as we exist in each other’s company. This is where understanding myself and my own defences is very important. As I build rapport with you and understand you with compassion, I begin to feel a connectedness. Whilst working, I hold an internal notion of my intention towards my ethical values and principles: of doing no harm, of listening, observing of the space of a spiritual nature. We are always learning, and we always want to protect ourselves. Most of what we do is unconscious.

Awareness of right-brain disconnection and shame shapes my work. I know it takes time to feel safe and to build trust. The presence of others helps only if you know those others won’t further shame or blame you. The most important therapy for shame, according to DeYoung, is the one that provides both attachment, connection, intersubjective connection, attuned affect regulation and the lively contact of mutuality.