She was with me that day for her third consultation. The first time, she had been referred by her family physician. It had become clear that she needed a different approach. She had already contacted me twice on her own initiative to work on what was bothering her.
She never emails without reason; when she schedules a consultation, something is bothering her, just like the first time. That day, we worked for over three hours, and she bravely faced very painful issues. Tears flowed, words came in fits and starts, and occasionally they were precisely what kept her away from her body and mainly in her head. In our second session, she told me she almost left my office that first time. My question, “What do you feel in your body when you say this?” had been incredibly triggering. [1]
Everything inside of her had rebelled against it. Especially the beliefs and judgments in her head had been speaking up: “What do you mean?! What are you talking about?! What does it matter?! What do you want from me?”
By the time we saw one another for that session, exactly six months had passed, and much had changed. Various events had set all sorts of processes in motion within herself and her family. She experienced these developments as a miracle and as very healing, yet simultaneously as very confronting. After two long sessions with me, she began to see many things differently. There were quite a few interactions with others that she no longer experienced as acceptable, and they were loudly calling for a new approach.
We started the session. I asked her a question, and she answered. It evoked a lot of emotions, and I asked what was happening in her body. Although she was now much more focused and didn’t immediately resume the conversation verbally, she still often struggled to discern the physical nuances. She mentioned a few things she noticed. I repeated her answer and asked, “Is there anything else?” “Well, no, I don’t think so.” There was a hint of irritation in her voice, as if she knew there was more but could not grasp it. She concentrated with her eyes closed and remained silent. I helped her along, without filling in the blanks: “What’s happening in your abdomen, your pelvis? What do you feel in your legs, your feet?”
Her face showed increased concentration, mixed with a touch of concern: “I don’t know… I feel dizzy… it’s like I’m going to faint… and I can barely feel my legs.” She sounded a little anxious, and I asked if I could come closer and touch her. She agreed, so I stood up and sat in front of her, on the floor in front of the couch. I placed my hands firmly on her feet and ankles. Together we adjusted the amount of pressure that I gave to the level that felt comfortable for her. We sat like that for quite a while in silence. I heard her breathing calm down. She remained still and present. Every now and then I moved my hands slightly.
When she opened her eyes, she was truly there again. The dizziness had disappeared, and she could feel her legs. She had experienced that in the safe connection, she could find the courage to feel what her body wanted to tell her and to be consciously present with it. [2]
During the session, she could feel life and living in her body. She is now increasingly learning to shape her life based on what she feels in the body where her soul has lived for over half a century—a courageous journey of discovery!
1. Brackett, M. (2019). Permission to Feel. The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-being and Success. Celadon Books.
2. Burke Harris, N. (2019). The Deepest Well. Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity. Mariner Books.
