Since I was a little girl, I learned to please, to cry in silence, to stay out of the way and avoid problems. I was programmed to be a “good girl”, obedient, responsible and always available for others, but something inside me knew that was not right and that something better was coming. For years I was what everybody wanted: a functional woman, a committed mother and a successful professional. However, deep inside there was a scared little girl, alone and confused, who couldn’t express her truth. I was an expert caretaker and at the same time I didn’t know how to take care of myself emotionally.
Everything changed when I realized that there was a monster in me, willing to hurt those who I love the most: my children. I heard an inner voice saying: are you really going to repeat this? Doesn’t it hurt you to see them cry? This experience shook me to my core and led me to Dr. Gabor Maté. Since then, my path has transformed completely. His teachings don’t only help me guide others, they also show me the way to my divine self. Gabor’s teachings have helped me question my beliefs of what it means to be the “perfect mother” and a “successful professional”, in order to find my essence: that divine woman was always there, waiting to enjoy her wholeness.
Returning to my inner child
In one of my first Compassionate Inquiry® sessions I connected with a part of myself I had long forgotten, a six year old girl who would hide under the covers, afraid of what could happen to her. I experience the terror, the shame and the loneliness again. But for the first time, I was not alone, I had tools to hold her with compassion and without judgement. I realized that my reactions as a mother, as a couple and as a woman were not who I was. I understood that these parts of me were not the problem, they just needed to be seen, heard and held without judgement and with compassion.
From sacrifice to authenticity
For many years I confused love with sacrifice. I believed that in order to be a good mother, I had to ignore my needs and that to be a good partner, I had to silence my thoughts. But CI showed me a different truth: love is not built from self-abandonment but from authentic presence. Being a mother does not mean disappearing, but rather being present from my essence so my kids can also connect to their own. Today I honor myself, and from that place I can guide others to do the same.
From mind to body
Throughout my life I have read, studied and intellectually understood the effects of childhood trauma and the importance of healing the inner child. But it was Compassionate Inquiry® that allowed me to feel that in my body, to see it with clarity and transform it from within. CI integrated my knowledge, my intuition and my heart. It gave me a new path to understand my patterns and a compass to navigate my emotions.
The wisdom of the group
I am fortunate to lead a Compassionate Inquiry® Circle on “Healing the Inner Child”. A safe space where we apply this approach to reconnect to our essence and liberate stories that move us away from our divine selves.
This circle is not only for parents or therapists. It is catered to anyone who has ever felt that they had to leave behind who they are in order to be accepted. People who have participated in this space want to stop surviving in order to start living from a place of connection, presence and empowerment while being able to hold their inner child close.
From good girl to divine woman
Healing my childhood wounds leads me to reconcile with my story, my body and my essence over and over. The process of recognizing my wounds allows me to keep growing so I can fulfill my dreams from a palace of confidence and love. At the same time, I become a clearer mirror that reflects the divinity of those around me, and above all, I can be the mother my children need and not hte mother I thought I should be. Today I don’t look for external approval, I look for myself. I don’t try to be enough, because I already am. I allow myself to shine, love, make mistakes and start over.
If any of this resonates, I invite you kindly to join these wonderful Circles to embark on a journey back home.
You don’t have to feel alone and you can also move from being a “good girl” to a divine woman.
