Laura Latina is a Certified Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner, an International Speaker, Independent and Community Midwife, and Midwifery Team Leader for the NHS (UK). As Women’s Health Advisor for Médecins Sans Frontières’ Medical Unit, she managed maternity hospitals in Malawi, South Sudan, Kenya, Afghanistan and many other countries, supporting over 2,000 women across four continents.
Hannah Betty Idarius, a Certified Compassionate Inquiry® Practitioner and Somatic Coach, supports individuals wanting to embody optimal emotional, physical and mental health (wholeness). A homebirth midwife and pioneer of US waterbirth, she has specializations in classical homeopathy, rebirthing breathwork, pre- and perinatal trauma healing, and somatic coaching. Hannah was featured in the Water Babies documentary and authored The Homeopathic Childbirth Manual.
This post is a short edited excerpt of Laura and Hannah’s experiences supporting parents and families through the perinatal experience, both in the moment, and decades later. Listen to their full interview on The Gifts of Trauma Podcast.
An explicit memory is something we can recall easily. For example, this morning I went to the store and bought rice, flour and fruit. An implicit memory is something we can’t recall, like our early life experiences as a fetus or a baby. What we can’t recall is not ‘gone,’ the memories stay in our bodies as somatic imprints.
Laura’s Story
By the end of my Mom’s pregnancy, I wasn’t positioned well for a vaginal birth, so I was born through a C-section. I know this because my mother told me, and because my body remembers the experience —it’s imprinted in me.
In my own personal healing work, Compassionate Inquiry® and other somatic approaches have taken me back to my experiences as a fetus and a baby; not rationally, but through my bodily sensations. Bringing implicit memories (somatic birth imprints) to the surface through my body gave me access to many experiences.
In one session, when I went back to my birth, I could feel that my head was stuck. When you look at me, or if you look at photos of me through the years, you’ll see that my head is always a bit tilted. This comes from my birth, from the time that I spent with my head titled when I got stuck as I was being born. It’s an imprint from my birth, a type of scar that’s physical but also directs my behaviour.
For example, I never finish projects because at some point, I stop myself (I get stuck) because beliefs arise. They tell me I can’t finish the project for many reasons, such as I’m not good enough. When I recognized this pattern, I was able to welcome it as an implicit memory from my C-section birth. Once this was brought into my awareness, I could hold space for the part of me that gets stuck.
Hannah’s Story
There are different ways to access our birth memories. I had a body memory that my mother did not feel safe when she was labouring. When I was born, that feeling of not being safe was transferred to me. I worked on this for many years and now I finally feel a sense of safety in my body. Knowing that imprint was there from my birth, and that it was also present in my mother, allows me to show up with compassion for the newborn part of me. Rather than just replaying it unconsciously, now I can actively bring compassion to my inner child who was scarred by that birthing experience.
Recalling implicit memories brings back all sorts of things, not just the memory of the actual experience. Some people remember a lack of connection, or that no one was there for them during their birth experience. They may also remember what they made these experiences mean, such as a persistent belief that they are all alone in this world.
To look at how recalling implicit memories might be helpful from another perspective, let’s say you are seeking clarity on something that’s happening in your present life, through recalling your birth imprints, your implicit preverbal memories.
This comes up in Compassionate Inquiry® when your therapist asks you, “How far back does this go?” If you’re not able to find words, or if you’re feeling a physical sensation you’re unable to express, your present experience might be springing from a birth or in utero experience.
If the therapist continues down this path, asking, “Could this have happened when you were in the womb? What was your mother experiencing?” Often, the implicit memory opens up. Even if you don’t have a cognitive memory, your body remembers, so just asking, “What’s your sense of what might have been going on?” gives you permission to access your body memory, to trust it, to go with your felt sense.
We focus on birth imprints because birth is a transition. Whenever we make a life transition our birth imprint might show up. We might simply be preparing to do something; getting ready to start a new project, or packing our bags to travel… We could get stressed before starting or before finishing a transition. Many beliefs may arise that originate from our birth imprint. A C-section baby might leave before a project is completed or procrastinate on finishing it because they believe they’re not good enough or not worthy enough to do it.
It’s always important that we pay attention to how we respond to our life transitions, to how we do things, to how we create things, as our birth imprints might be showing up. When they do, it’s an opportune time to call a therapist or someone who can really hold space for you and support you in welcoming the part of you that is now ready to be seen and integrated. Access often opens up during pregnancy, as we are such raw, open channels at that time, it’s easier for our early childhood and birth experiences to surface.
This invitation to explore your implicit memories, your birth imprints could also show up in a dream, in a flashback or moment of deja vu, or just as a hunch that you know something that you didn’t know before.
The Gifts of Trauma is a weekly podcast that features personal stories of trauma, healing, transformation, and the gifts revealed on the path to authenticity. Listen to the interview, and if you like it, please subscribe, rate, review and share it.
