Tanya is a pioneer in feminine embodiment, global circle facilitation, the founder of Sistership Circle® and the creator of the Feminine Freedom Method™ (a somatic certification rooted in nervous system awareness, shadow alchemy, and sacred space holdin) She spent over 15 years developing transformational experiences that support women in healing, reclaiming their voices, and leading from their deepest truths.
This short edited excerpt of Tanya’s interview arcs from the trauma-healing potency of her newest training to envisioning a world led by councils of women. Hear her full interview on The Gifts of Trauma.
We just launched a new program, Get to the Root, which is all about trauma healing. This practice is already part of our Level 1 Circle Leader Certification Program. It’s a very powerful 15-minute hot-seat that takes women back ‘to the root’ of an unconscious block, or fear. Our participants get one-to-one support as we uncover their biggest block to circle leadership. It’s always been the most popular part of the program, so my trainers have been asking, when are we going to train participants in this? That time is here.
If you’re wondering how the hot-seat works, imagine you’re on it. You’re about to launch your first circle and I ask, “What is your biggest block when it comes to starting your circle in a couple weeks?”
Let’s say you answer, “Saying ‘No’ to somebody who might not be a good fit.”
From there, we would start to uncover the root of where that block came from. Initially, we would go into the body and perhaps draw up a memory from childhood. What we ultimately want to uncover is the belief underneath that block. When we do, you might experience a somatic release and/or a cognitive reframe. You may see a new action you want to take and experience the freedom to do so.
Women in the hot-seat get to the root in 15 minutes. And the root is the unconscious belief that’s driving the fear or block in some way. The hot-seat experience ends with all of the women in the circle acknowledging you and love beaming on you; witnessing and reflecting your brilliance and beauty and power. So when your 15-minutes are complete, you’re supported by both the group and by having gone through the process of overcoming that block.
Now we’re teaching circle leaders and coaches how to incorporate that practice into their circles. We’re teaching them the methodology, which is our Feminine Freedom Method, so they can offer hot-seats in their programs. So that’s what the Get to the Root Program is all about
It’s powerful because I see this connection between circles and Feminine Freedom and what it looks like for us to be sovereign free women who are really tapped-into our power. Getting to the root of our blocks and fears helps us free ourselves. It’s not about fighting the patriarchy ‘out there,’ but about going within, unshackling ourselves, opening up where we cage, limit and hold ourselves back. We’re giving women access to doing that inner work with other woman.
We’re also supporting women in perimenopause and menopause. I’m 45 and on the cusp, but I have many friends who are in it and many of the women in our programs are too, so it’s very present. Many of the women in our circles want lead circles for women in menopause, wise woman circles.
I see these women in the collective coming into this phase of their lives and rocking it by empowering other women to fully embrace their elder years. We don’t need to shrivel up and die or give our power away. This is the time of life when a woman should be honored for her wisdom. Our current culture does not do that. I envision women taking a stand and reclaiming their seats at the table of eldership. Today men are in charge, but I see councils of women taking over the running of the world. That’s how our ancestral tribes operated. There might have been a male chief, but there was also a counsel of elder women. The grandmother clans were the ones making the decisions. It’s time to shift back to those models, and as women, we’re doing it on all the different levels. To drive this shift, women are metabolizing their sister wounds.
The sister wound is a disconnect between women. It’s all of the places where we don’t trust each other, where we disconnect, where we’re afraid of each other, where we feel less than, and where we judge. There’s so much in that wound that it’s really hard for us to have authentic relationships with one another, to truly believe that other women have our backs, to feel a deep sense of trust and support coming from other powerful women.
To bypass the sister wound, we might not be surrounding ourselves with women who reflect our greatness. So that is my ultimate goal, especially for leaders, to be surrounded by other women operating at the same vibration; having Councils of Queens.
What it all comes down to with the sister wound, is recognizing that any woman who triggers you offers you a gift. So rather than reacting or attacking, go within and ask, what does this remind me of? Then do the deeper healing that probably goes back to our core family unit, to our mom, our sister, our first friend or aunt. It goes back to the time when we decided we can’t trust other females.
So the next time you get triggered by a woman, please look within yourself lovingly. Do this work, and imagine what it would be like to have that Council of Queens around you. Doesn’t every woman deserve that? And for the women out there who may be judging women’s circles, please look for a deep shadowy wound that keeps you isolated and alone. I believe it’s our mission to delete that feeling of aloneness in our lifetime.
If you relate to what I just said, I’d like to invite you to trust the medicine. Circle has medicine for us. Sometimes medicine doesn’t taste good, but it is good for us. So whenever you don’t want to go to circle, that’s when you probably need it the most. And if you feel the resistance to circle, to sisterhood, that’s something to pay attention to, as there’s some medicine for you there that’s going to be good for you and open your heart. Because ultimately, it’s all about opening your closed heart.
Are you willing to be brave enough to open it again and let the love in? And please know, there’s nothing wrong with you if you are feeling resistance. It’s actually the invitation into your growth. And it’s normal. It’s normal. Most women, the majority of women, are terrified of other women. This is the work.
The Gifts of Trauma is a weekly podcast that features personal stories of trauma, transformation, healing, and the gifts revealed on the path to authenticity. Listen to the interview, and if you like it, please subscribe, leave a rating or review, and share it with others in your community.
